How creative are you? Here Melissa Branco identifies the ways trying to be in control can hold back creativity. This was first published in autumn 2016 here.
It’s hard to be a creator of content and a perfectionist at the same time. This majorly stems from the idea that I have to be bigger and better each and every time. I feel as though many young women entering the world of creating via social media find a real struggle to stay ‘on top of the game’. We are constantly analysing ourselves and comparing our own image to others. This then leads on to the feeling of being insecure with how you feel, look and it could also impact the content that you create.
I have to say that I’ve always believed perfectionism is more of a disease than a quality. I do try to go with the flow, but I can’t let go.
Nobody’s perfect and I acknowledge that but there was definitely a time in my life where that wasn’t the case. I am still working on being magical and free, but this obviously comes with a lot of struggle. I noticed this very early on in class when I would constantly write my revision notes neatly, in all different colours and underlining, in order for it to look perfect. If it didn’t, it would end up shrivelled up in the bin … and I would start all over again.
Being a super clean freak was something I used to just blame on the fact that my mum was the same. Little did I know it was my perfectionism creeping up on me, once again.
When starting college, I began to create my own content – writing my own essays and editing my own video and photograph content. This is when I really struggled and found myself constantly re-recording and editing in order for it to feel perfect. It was all about how I felt and as long as that part of me was fulfilled, I felt right. I never realised that for once my perfection could be a fear of rejection, criticism or perhaps even failure. This all due to personal experiences, I began really letting go of the emotion that came with being a perfectionist.
I feel that being a perfectionist has never been a gift for me because I feel as if I am always trying to control my reality, and obviously I never succeed. But I have learnt to accept it and make it a good thing. I have learnt that practice makes mistakes and it is okay.
Obviously, don’t place yourself in a constant cycle of always wanting to perfect what was and is already perfect.
- Read more of Melissa’s blog posts on melsbeesniss.wordpress.com